Frequently Asked Questions (well, not really)
GENERAL
Who are you?
The guy writing this. I live in the US. I have brown hair, hazel (mostly green) eyes, and I’m about 5’11”. That’s all you need to know at this time.
What things do you like?
I enjoy games (duh), writing, and other stuff like archery.
What are you like?
I’m pretty sarcastic. I’m hard-working, and willing to help out my friends.
Will you go out with me?
No.
Do you like John Steinbeck?
Absolutely not.
Do you like Metroid?
It is a fine game.
Do you like Neverwinter Nights?
It is a fine game.
Do you like Prince of Persia? Soul Calibur II? Castlevania?
Fine games, all of them.
Did you rip off Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 for the last three questions?
Yes.
What do you collect?
Swords and movie tickets. Seriously.
LINK, THE ANNOYANCE SLAYER
What is Link, the Annoyance Slayer?
It’s a fanfiction series based on some comics I used to do (no, I will not scan them).
A few years ago, I wrote a fic titled “Link, the Annoyance Slayer.” It was really stupid, and as the comics progressed, I realized that the fanfic gave LtAS a bad image. So, I wrote “Link, the Annoyance Slayer: Take Two.” I am currently writing its sequel, “Link, the Annoyance Slayer: The Return of Evil.”
You @#$@@#^%!@#@$, you killed ________!!!! @#%&$#&$@#!!!
Go read your favorite fic or watch your favorite TV show or whatever involving that character.
You @#$^#$&@$@$#@, you didn’t kill _______!!! @#%#$^#@$^%$#!!!
Too bad.
You #@%#^#@@#$@#, you didn’t kill <insert real person here>!!! @#$@#%@#!!!
I don’t kill real people in LtAS.
What are your main inspirations for LtAS?
Real life experiences. Annoying TV, movie, and video game characters.
Why is Ganondorf a good guy in the new series?
Because I decided to make him a good guy. Not sure why, I just did. Seemed like a good idea, and I’m glad I went with it.
Why was the original story so terrible?
That was one of my earlier stories. There were some very stupid jokes in it, and it kept switching between serious and comedic. That obviously didn’t work. Go read the new ones.
Why the !@#!@$ $%^&&%^ &(^(% don’t you swear in your stories?
Because I find better ways to express myself. Adding swear words doesn’t automatically make something better.
Does Zelda really look cute in her slave outfit?
According to Ganondorf and Link, yes.
@#$@, man, show us some pics of Zelda in her slave outfit!
Go take a cold shower. Who says I have pictures of that, anyway?
Does y really equal 2x + b?
No. y = mx + b. Why do you think that Pikachu killed the Teletubbie that said it? Actually, that little part in Take Two was a very stupid mistake I made that I never bothered to fix. *hides in shame*
What’s the story behind Random Gerudo?
Originally, the only times she was going to show up after the attack on Gerudo Valley was whenever something miraculous happened (“GREAT ONE!!!”). It wasn’t until the very end of Take Two that I decided to make her a more important character.
How do you know so many Broadway musicals?
Blame my older sister Nephele. She’s a dancer, and so I’ve heard several songs from musicals she’s danced to.
Who’s your favorite LtAS character?
Either Ganondorf or Pikachu. In my opinion, both have the best lines, and they are both the most fun to write.
What’s the story behind Mr. Bovine?
Mr. Bovine was a normal bull, grazing with his family. Suddenly, a bank robber named George Nelson drove by, opening fire on the herd. Bovine watched in shock as his family fell to this madman. He was the sole survivor. He wandered by himself for years, when one day, he ate some grass that was drenched by some sort of potion, carelessly spilled by a scientist. He became part man, part bovine, and he wanted one thing: VENGEANCE. The potion also gave him electric powers, and the ability to use all kinds of firearms. Nelson was already dead by this time, having finally been arrested and executed. Mr. Bovine went to a place called Paragon City and fought crime there for years. One day, he found a mystic portal, and ended up in Hyrule. He was able to find other cows, and trained them in martial arts.
What really happened was that my friends and I made superhero cows on an online game called City of Heroes.
George Nelson... isn’t he in the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Yes.
